Saturday, September 11, 2004


Customers suck. This was my day.

What Customers Really Mean

"I am NEVER coming here again!"
Translation: "See you tomorrow."

"I don't like to complain, but..."
Translation: "If I act like I am just being helpful maybe I can get some free stuff."

"The sign said there was no limit."
Translation: "I never read the sign, I just hope this person is too lazy to go see if I'm lying or not."

"Hello there, how are you doing today!!"
Translation: "Maybe if I'm really nice they won't over charge me this time."

"Are you guys open?"
Translation: "Despite the fact that your lights are on, your doors are unlocked, and you guys are behind the counter wearing uniforms, I'm still not sure."

"I have spent thousands of dollars here. How can you treat me this way?"
Translation: "I have only bought a few things here and I want you to think that I am the most valuable customer on earth. Your business will cease to exist if I don't shop here."

"But it's cheaper somewhere else!"
Translation: "Bow to me, for I am the customer. And therefore, everything in your store must be adjusted to my budget because my lazy ass won't drive to the store that advertised it for less."

"Are You SURE?"
Translation: "I don't like the information I just received because it doesn't go in my favor."

"I don't have enough money on me right now."
Translation: "I have NO intention of coming back at anytime; you'll have to put those back."

"I'm just going to think about it...this is the first store I've been in and I want to look around a little more."
Translation: "It's too expensive, but I don't want you to think I'm cheap."



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