Chuck Norris

Not too much going on in my life except drinking egg nog and sleeping in. Here's something I found on the Internet that will only make those who know Chuck Norris laugh.

To all you Chuck Norris fans, here's a tribute.

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two
seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse
kicks you in the face.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he
gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are
trademarked names for his left and right legs.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only
another fist.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck
Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a
game of tennis.

It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Peace.