Saturday, October 16, 2004

Toasters

On most nights before going to bed, I usually have one piece of toast with peanut butter and a glass of homo milk. I was watching the toaster tonight and thinking who invented this thing. It's a pretty weird device if you think about it. Every time the toast pops, it scares the hell out of you. There's no warning light or sound to give you an indication that it's going to pop; the toaster or at least the one I have shoots the bread about a foot into the air and lands on the counter; and you either have to push the bread down again cause the bread isn't toasted enough or adjust the knob ever so slightly from barely toasted to burnt which can be tricky.

We live in a world full of strange devices. I wonder if toasters in the future will be computerized indicating when the toast will pop. Then, when I'm old and watching the toaster, I won't get a heart attack.

Peace.

3 Comments:

Blogger taechtner said...

Ahhhh...deep thoughts my friend!

Well, unknown to many of us 'youngens' there was a time that toasters were quite intelligent, less simplistic heart-attack machines. In fact, each had an Artificial Intelligence chip planted into the main toaster CPU which would allow the toater to automatically register the type of bread, slice width, fresh-to-stale ratio, and then guage the appropriate toaster heat accordingly. The toasters started to evolve in intellect and capacity, however, and they became a threat to the major world power - the United States of America. So, one of the Republican presidents a few years back banned the AI Toaster chips and instead replaced all toasters with the awkward and difficult to use ones we find for $19.99 at your local Walmart. IN FACT, that was the supposed reason for the U.S. attack on Iraq! Apparently Saddam was making toasters of mass destruction!

Mmmmmmmm....toast.

7:58 PM, October 16, 2004  
Blogger Stefanie said...

STOP THE SEARCH! I know where the toasters of mass destruction are -- at Arnold's house! Yeah, that's right ... the whole heart attack thing ... it'll get worse in a few years. Just wait and see.

8:27 PM, October 16, 2004  
Blogger Aaron said...

My grandpa's toaster is kind of tricky to use - it has no buttons on it at all. It's all smooth and shiny stainless steel or some shiny metal. You just put the toast in and it slowly gets sucked into the toaster. Then when its done it pings and the toast slowly comes out. The only thing is if you only make one piece of toast you have to ensure you put it in the right slot or otherwise it won't go down. Maybe that's the kind of toaster you need Arnold.

11:01 PM, October 17, 2004  

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